CIA admits to using tickling as means of torture to get answers

The Central Intelligence Agency has admitted on Tuesday that they have been using an enhanced interrogation technique called “tickling” as a form of torture to get answers about suspected top Al-Qaeda militants’ whereabouts.

A video that was posted on YouTube shows two CIA officers saying that one will get the chin and one will get the armpits. Right after they start to giggle, you hear a man laughing and saying “stop!! stop!!” This continues for several minutes.

John Brennan, current CIA director, said in a news conference on the allegations that “we use any means necessary to get the intel we need from our enemies, including touching suspects to induce spasms and discomfort. I can guarantee that no one has ever been hurt in these enhanced interrogation techniques.”

One CIA officer has spoken to us on condition of anonymity, saying that the idea of this technique came from reading a WikiHow article called “How to Tickle Someone. Steps include tying up your victim, blindfolding them (by using pantyhose and socks), using baby powder to enhance the ticklishness, and “spreading baby oil sparingly over their ticklish spots and TICKLE till your victim can’t help but beg for mercy”.